Entertainment » Movies

Chastity Bites

by Ken Tasho
EDGE Media Network Contributor
Wednesday Jul 17, 2013
a scene from CHASTITY BITES
a scene from CHASTITY BITES  

Take bits (not bites) from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," "Scream," and a dash of "True Blood," and the result is "Chastity Bites," a new horror/comedy from Weirdsmobile Productions. Not only does this bitingly witty independent film poke fun at the vampire horror genre, it playfully turns teen comedies upside down.

"Chastity Bites" opens with a clever prologue, featuring typical horny teenagers getting it on while in a parked car. This leads to what looks like a spoof of "Mean Girls," as we're introduced to bookish and unpopular Leah, an aspiring journalist, and her best friend Catherine.

Enter Liz, a seductive and mysterious woman, new to town, who goes to the girl's high school in order to preach the wonders of staying young and virginal. Liz heads up the Virginity Action Group, or VAG... get it? Here, she recruits unsuspecting girls, including naïve Catherine, into joining the club for chaste and pure girls.

Leah, ever the sleuth, uses her best Nancy Drew smarts and discovers Liz may just be a vampiress from the 1600s who's been slaughtering young girls for centuries. There wouldn't be a film if people actually believed Leah, but this is one of many reasons that "Chastity Bites" is a blast. There's also a lesbian subplot where Catherine falls for Liz, but this is quickly overshadowed by the gory main story.

Featuring sharp writing and surprisingly funny jokes, "Chastity Bites" breezes by with a 90-minute running time. Its production values are also a notch above other independent low-budget films.

"Chastity Bites" isn't out to save the world, but it sure is a fun ride nonetheless. Check it out.

Ken Tasho is a Corporate Drone by day and Edge Contributor by night. He has a love for all things ’80’s and resides in the Wayland Square area of Providence, RI...but would much rather be sharing an apartment in NYC with ’80’s rock goddesses Pat Benatar and Deborah Harry.


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